In a game that wasn't covered by "the Lame Stream Media," the Paw Paw Pirates defeated the Electoral College in first round Class 1/2 A Playoff Action by a score of 42-50. That's right, you read that correct, Paw Paw defeated the Electoral College by out pointing them 42-50, uh, wait a minute, is that accurate? Hold on, let me send Delilah Delawder an Inbox Message on AdultFriendFinder. This time, however, rather than asking for candid pics of her, ahem, "Paw Paws," I'm going to ask her for details on the game...............OK, here we go, she responded. She explains that despite the fact that Paw Paw scored less points than the Electoral College, the rules when playing the Electoral College are a little different, you can actually beat them by scoring less points than them, and that's exactly what happened here. It seems the founding fathers of the WVSSAC, when constructing the playoff format many, many years ago, built special rules into the system to ensure that a red-hot, flash in the pan, every four years bunch of whipper snappers like the Electoral College couldn't easily defeat an established powerhouse like Paw Paw. When interviewed after the game, Paw Paw Athletic Director Delmer Delawder and Paw Paw Head Coach Tim Refosco (Jim's lesser known half brother) agreed that if the Pirates hadn't been granted the victory, there was certain to be rioting in "the street.". Yes, that's right, the singular "street" in Paw Paw. The Dollar General, Anthony's Pizza, and Gas Station in town were placed on high alert and the West Virginia National Guard and "Nudists for Trump" Motorcycle Gang--Avalon Nudist Resort Chapter," were brought in for added security. In the end, however, it was Delawder right, Delawder left, Delawder underneath and Delawder over top that accounted for all 42 of Paw Paw's 42 points. And of course, Paw Paw's Vaunted Tunnel Defense came through in allowing only 50 points from the Electoral College to seal the win. Had they allowed 51.5 points or more, the Electoral College would have ruined Paw Paw's near 20 year win streak. Next week, Paw Paw will take on the winner of the Seneca Valley versus Golden Horseshoe Gentleman's Club (Ranson, WV) game. Seneca Valley from Germantown, Maryland, you might wonder? Yes, Seneca Valley. West Virginia Class 1/2 A's Governing Board felt so sorry for Seneca Valley when they heard the story of the Screamin' Eagles getting left out of the Maryland 3A playoffs that they invited them to participate in the WV Class 1/2 A Tourney. The game has not yet been played, however, as the Golden Horseshoe squad has had trouble passing their physicals. It seems they have some sort of an unexplained illness, and let's just say it isn't "Playoffitis.". As soon as they are medically cleared to play, the game will be played at Shepherd University. We'll keep you updated on who Paw Paw will face next, expect more twists and turns as the saga unfolds. Until then, commence to complaining about the Homecoming Officials and Facebook Political Posts
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