DEVELOPING STORY OUT OF PAW PAW AND SOUTH END

[Seasoned Lettuce]

Paw Paw Athletic Director Delmer Delawder held a Press Conference with the Morgan Messenger, Baltimore Sun, ESPN, and Cumberland on Patrol present, to cry foul over the fact that he has what he calls a signed contract with Fort Hill for a Week 6 game. Just as British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain waved that piece of paper in the air and proclaimed "Peace in our Time" after meeting with Adolf Hitler, Delawder waved a printout of the Fort Hill Max Preps schedule in the air and proclaimed the game was "Facebook Official"...which, as he said, we all know to be as binding as a signed contract. Delawder has contacted the MPSSAA to intervene, despite the fact that the WVSSAC's 1/2 A committee is Paw Paw's governing body. The MPSSAA's solution to the problem is to force Fairmont Heights to honor Fort Hill's Facebook Official Contract with Paw Paw, and to then rule Serra Catholic as unsanctioned, thus dropping them as an approved Fort Hill opponent and leaving the Sentinels with only 9 games again. Delawder was livid, he said whenever news of the Paw Paw game hit Max Preps he booked rooms for his whole family, all the Delawders, to stay in Cumberland Hotels to celebrate that night. Delawder claims that the hotels won't refund his money and that the 134 rooms he booked caused an $ 11,926.00 hold to be placed on his Diners Club Card until the issue is resolved. There are unconfirmed rumors that Governor Hogan of Maryland has ordered National Guard troops to stand guard beside the Paw Paw tunnel in case Paw Paw fans decide to invade Allegany County by way of Route 51. The United States Coast Guard and Battie Mixon Catfish Club is said to be guarding the waters of the Potomac in case they try to attack via boat. The Cumberland Experimental Aircraft Association, Civil Air Patrol Units, and MSP's Trooper 5 will be guarding against aerial attack. In addition, the Cumberland Outdoor Club has sent a battalion of members to their hunting and picnic grounds down Route 51 to serve as relief for the National Guard. In tears, Delawder ended the press conference decrying "all we ever wanted to do was prove that we were the best team to wear Red in this area.....oh, and also to get some of that Stadium Pizza, we get sick of eating nothing but Anthony's 2 down here." Stay tuned as the story develops.

 

[BrianH1974]

The playing conditions at Donahue Field were an issue I heard. Shit happens. Since FH and Paw Paw could not agree on a neutral site the Sentinels moved on. Don't blame FH. I also heard TDHelmick offered Delawder an array of Canadian substitute games and all the Labatts he could drink but Delawder refused citing something about no stadium fries being included in the deal as well as copyright infringements on Paw Paw lemonade sales. The Pirates have replaced the game with the Ridgeley Mini-Hawks Alumni.

 

[Seasoned Lettuce]

Correct BrianH, and I hear the Ridgeley Mini Hawks Alumni are going to throw it back totally old school and wear the simple Black and White Uniforms....not the more modern Black, White and Red variety...which of course is Paw Paw's colors. Is the game being played in Paw Paw, at Heiskell Field in Ridgeley, or down in "The Flats"?

 

[TDHelmick]

Allow me to set the record straight. The bottom line is that FH is chicken scratch. I'm tired of defending their scheduling philosophy. The coaches just don't want to play anyone. It was mentioned in the closed FH meeting (held under the old gym bleachers) that a loss to Paw Paw could mean having to go on the road against Hancock the first week of the playoffs.

In that meeting Coach Appel openly talked about the Paw Paw tunnel defense and the lack of success his wing-T system was bound to have since Paw Paw puts 10 and a half men in the box. I replied by saying but they only have half a man on our split end. At that point Barry Lattimer interrupted to say that only 4 things happen when you throw the ball and 3 of them are bad (sack, interception, incomplete). That ended that discussion.

I tossed out neutral fields that were available once again. Inside the Fruit Bowl with the isles cleared, the Second Baptist Church back parking lot, behind Washington Jr. High, the Constitution Park skateboard park, Memorial Hospital, Johnson Heights playground, East Side playground, Eric Koelker's side yard where the Homecoming parties used to be, Dave Christopher's front yard (no cleats in his grass though and no blue beer huggies) or on the bricks downtown if they will remove the bricks and provide ample free parking.

 

[Seasoned Lettuce]

Is it true that during the meeting in the old gym the ghost of Bill Hahn descended from the rafters and called Todd Appel a chicken to his face? Hahn would have played that game, and Hahn would have won.

 

[Seasoned Lettuce]

Besides, other than the loss of concession sales, the only real problem I see with FH traveling to Hancock for the playoffs is that the Park N Dine just ain't what it used to be.

 

[Lagmeister]

Paw Paw Athletic Director Delmer Delawder held a Press Conference with the Morgan Messenger, Baltimore Sun, ESPN, and Cumberland on Patrol present, to cry foul over the fact that he has what he calls a signed contract with Fort Hill for a Week 6 game. Just as British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain waived that piece of paper in the air and proclaimed "Peace in our Time" after meeting with Adolf Hitler, Delawder waived a printout of the Fort Hill Max Preps schedule in the air and proclaimed the game was "Facebook Official"...which, as he said, we all know to be as binding as a signed contract. Delawder has contacted the MPSSAA to intervene, despite the fact that the WVSSAC's 1/2 A committee is Paw Paw's governing body. The MPSSAA's solution to the problem is to force Fairmont Heights to honor Fort Hill's Facebook Official Contract with Paw Paw, and to then rule Serra Catholic as unsanctioned, thus dropping them as an approved Fort Hill opponent and leaving the Sentinels with only 9 games again. Delawder was livid, he said whenever news of the Paw Paw game hit Max Preps he booked rooms for his whole family, all the Delawders, to stay in Cumberland Hotels to celebrate that night. Delawder claims that the hotels won't refund his money and that the 134 rooms he booked caused an $ 11,926.00 hold to be placed on his Diners Club Card until the issue is resolved. There are unconfirmed rumors that Governor Hogan of Maryland has ordered National Guard troops to stand guard beside the Paw Paw tunnel in case Paw Paw fans decide to invade Allegany County by way of Route 51. The United States Coast Guard and Battie Mixon Catfish Club is said to be guarding the waters of the Potomac in case they try to attack via boat. The Cumberland Experimental Aircraft Association, Civil Air Patrol Units, and MSP's Trooper 5 will be guarding against aerial attack. In addition, the Cumberland Outdoor Club has sent a battalion of members to their hunting and picnic grounds down Route 51 to serve as relief for the National Guard. In tears, Delawder ended the press conference decrying "all we ever wanted to do was prove that we were the best team to wear Red in this area.....oh, and also to get some of that Stadium Pizza, we get sick of eating nothing but Anthony's 2 down here." Stay tuned as the story develops.

A new standard has been set.

 

[ed r forshey]

Huge breaking news out of the Crap House:

Delawder has with drawn all his protest against Fort Hill,

PawPaw has signed a WV week 7, MD week 6 huge 10 year contract all games at Donahue Field vs Martinsburg.
Martinsburg has agreed to pay Sherando , $10,000 buy out fee to replace them, 50% of said fee is being paid by Paw Paw

Athletic Director Delawder, screamed; "Who needs Fort Hill, when you can get the best team in the Potomac Valley Area, MARTINSBURG!! to come play you 10 years straight.

 

[TDHelmick]

Is it true that during the meeting in the old gym the ghost of Bill Hahn descended from the rafters and called Todd Appel a chicken to his face? Hahn would have played that game, and Hahn would have won.

No, but Jim Chaney returned and demanded FH put black back in the uniforms to cheese off Delawder and the F Club at the same time. And for the record, Chaney would not have beaten Paw Paw.

 

[ed r forshey]

Paw Paw enters 2017 on a:
99 years straight WV 1/2 A state title streak
996 regular season win streak
297 playoff win streak
1293 straight game win streak
last loss was in 1916 by the score of (0-2) against Alaska Salmons Fishery
The Great, Great, Great, Great Grandad of Athletic Director Delawder fell down in the end zone when the wind tunnel started blowing for the Paw Paw punt and that's the last points scored against Paw Paw in 100 years.

Martinsburg the WV AAA power,
Defending State Champs,
Favored to win every game in 2017 by 42+ except Paw Paw, even made a remark;" If we don't win the AAA title by 50+ its been a bad season." must beat Paw Paw to be the real WV Champs

 

[TDHelmick]

Heard the FH quarterback say, "If we don't at least score 3 points against Paw Paw, it will be a disappointing season."